Judgement Day!

Hey guys!

Sorry I've not posted on here in a while, real life seems to have caught up with me lately and I've been stressing out a lot, especially because I've had all of my wisdom teeth out in the past month and it's left me feeling drained. However, I should be back to posting more regularly now :)

I thought I'd kick things off again with a post I've been meaning to write for a while, and recent events just made me want to write about it even more, so I finally did. I hope you can relate to it, feel free to comment and let me know!

My hair is quite thin - it's always been pretty fine anyway, then when I got diagnosed with PCOS I knew why it was so thin, as it can be one of the side effects. Anyway, since I was in my early teens, people have felt like it's perfectly okay to say things like "You have really thin hair" or "wow, your hair is so thin" and a couple of times I've even had people come right up to me and be like "Did you know you're going bald?!" (which, obviously, was pretty hard to ignore and I really had to struggle to bite my tongue, especially as one time, it was coming from someone I used to consider a friend, who knew how self conscious I am about my hair.) So, you can argue that I'm used to being told this now, but it's still frustrating and baffling how people feel like they can bring it up in everyday conversation and expect me not to get upset and react in a negative way.

A good example of this is when I went to a consultation about having my wisdom teeth out a few weeks ago, at the hospital - I had my hair tied back, so it was out of the way and because it was annoying me a bit that day so I wanted to get it off my face - and the dental person who was examining me and asking me questions about my teeth somehow decided it was okay to just drop into conversation "By the way, did you know you had really thin hair?"

In my mind I was like "No, really, I have thin hair?! I wasn't aware of that at all, Mr dental man, considering I have to look in the mirror every day and see it, I have to see it in photos, and I have people randomly pointing it out to me! Thank you for pointing out something I'd never have noticed myself!"

Instead, I just rolled my eyes and answered yes, I was aware and it's because of a medical condition. He went quiet then, and I thought that was the end of it, until a little bit later into the consultation, when he was talking about which kind of anaesthetic I had a choice of, local or general, and he then said "usually we advise people on the larger side to take the local, as it has less risks" and I seriously nearly lost it then, I actually wanted to get off my chair and punch him.

Seriously, if you're going to point out something about someone's weight, at least do it with tact and a bit of warning, instead of just blurting out something. In fact, better yet, just don't mention someone else's weight. Yes, I know I'm on the larger side - I'm not so deluded that I think I'm a skinny supermodel, I know I'm not skinny, but what gives anyone the right to try and make me feel bad about my body?

I hate it when people feel like it's okay to judge people based on how they look - whether it's pointing out someone's weight, their hair, a birthmark, etc - I feel like it isn't right to be pointing out things that people might not like about themselves, and wouldn't want reminding of constantly. If you feel inclined to point out potentially hurtful about someone else, think about how you'd feel if the shoe was on the other foot, and someone came up to you and told you how lacklustre your hair was looking, or how massive your nose is - how would you feel?

I think we need to concentrate less on pointing out things that might make people feel bad, and more on making people feel good about themselves, and pointing out small things to make them smile - something like "I love your makeup today" or "that colour really you" and spread happiness instead.

The Bedtime Tag!

Hey guys!

So today, I felt like doing a tag I came across while browsing YouTube - it was created by FleurDeForce and TalkBeckyTalk, and it's called The Bedtime Tag!

View their video here

As always, I tag anyone who enjoyed it to do it too!

1. What are you favourite pajamas?

At the moment, my favourite pajamas are probably my blue Cookie Monster top from Primark, which is nice and loose to sleep in, and a pair of white trousers with little grey Eiffel Towers on them, which I think were also from Primark. If I get cold, I also usually wear a jumper or a pair of slippers - my current ones were a christmas present off my mum.

2. Current bedtime reading?

I'm a really fast reader, so when I start reading a book, I like to finish it in the same day/night if it catches my attention enough. I'm just about to start reading The Book Thief by Markus Zusak though - when I was on holiday last year, I started it, but because I was so busy while I was away, I didn't really get the chance to read very much of it, and it didn't really grab my attention. I've since bought my own copy - I was borrowing my aunts - so I've decided to give it another try.

3. What is on your bedside table?

At the moment I have - a Red Berry and Cedar scented Yankee Candle, my iPod, my TV controls, a lamp, my phone, a book, a hairbrush, a notebook and pen, my 3DS (I usually play that in bed if I don't feel like reading) and a bottle of blackcurrant squash - I like keeping a drink near my bed because I wake up thirsty in the middle of the night a lot.

4. Favourite sleepy scent?

I used to sleep with lavender under my pillow because it keeps moths away and is supposed to help you sleep, but it was too distracting, so at the moment I can usually just smell my face cream and the candle by my bed.

5. What is your usual bedtime & wakeup time?

I actually have a pretty terrible sleeping pattern at the moment which is all over the place. I guess that I usually fall asleep around midnight or so, and if I don't set an alarm the earliest I wake up at is around 9am.

6. Top 3 bedtime products?

At the moment, the three products I use around bedtime that I'm loving are -

Soap And Glory Greatest Scrub Of All Facial Exfoliator (for all skin types)

Simple Kind To Skin Soothing Facial Cleanser and Toner

Garnier Moisture Match Mattifying Face Cream (I use the one for combination to oily skin)

7. Your most common sleeping position?

I usually sleep on my left side, with one leg straight and one leg bent and my feet poking out from the blankets.

8. Any strange bed time routines?

Hmm, I don't think so? I usually settle in bed and play my 3DS/browse the internet for a while before I put on some music (usually relaxing game music) and read for a while.

9. Are you big spoon or little spoon?

I don't really get to spoon anyone, haha, but when I do I prefer to be the little spoon, definitely.

My Blogging Routine!

Hey guys!
Today, I thought I'd talk a little bit about my weekly blogging routine.

I'm definitely not the most organised person in the world - although I've become a little bit better at that since I got a calendar and a diary for christmas - but somehow, I manage to be reasonably organised for blogging - at least, most of the time!

On my laptop, I have the option to put virtual sticky notes on my desktop, and this has become a lifesaver - if I'm browsing the internet and come up with a blog idea, all I have to do is pull up a sticky note and jot it down - I also have a folder on my desktop with copies of all my blog posts (so I can keep track of them as well as looking online) and a list I keep updated with all the things I've blogged about, so hopefully I won't be blogging about the same thing multiple times, unless it's a topic that can be revisited.

If I'm out and about and an idea hits, I'll usually either type a quick note to myself in the notes on my phone, or I'll jot it down in the little notebook I keep in my bag, or my diary (I love stationery, okay. I am drawn to pretty stationery like a magpie is drawn to pretty, shiny things)

I usually blog in my room, sat on my bed with my laptop on my knee and my back against the wall - my bed is against the wall with a radiator, so when it's cold it's nice because I can blog and stay warm. A lot of the time, if I'm writing my blog at night, I'll have candles lit and fairy lights on because I don't like bright light or too much light at night, plus it looks nice and relaxes me. Sometimes, if I'm not in the mood to blog upstairs, I'll curl up on the sofa downstairs instead - I don't like sitting at a table to blog, I like to be more comfortable, especially if I'm going to be sitting there for a while!

I also usually listen to music when I'm writing - I don't like silence - and the music I've been favouring recently is music from games, or anything that doesn't have words, as it's good background music and it doesn't distract me by making me want to sing along.

Usually, if I'm blogging at night, I'll be sat around in my cosiest pjs, no makeup on and my hair scraped back in a messy ponytail, because let's face it, no one can see me and it's good to be comfortable! Plus, I usually have a cup of tea as well - I am a massive tea drinker! When I had bright red hair, a lot of the time I'd be sitting around with deep conditioner in my hair as well (I used to do that fairly regularly because of the amount of times I'd had bleach in my hair when it was lighter)

Sometimes, I can be sat around on my laptop for ages, either trying to think of a good blog idea (if nothing else has inspired me) or procrastinating by watching videos online. However, luckily that doesn't happen very often, and when I'm inspired, I leap headfirst into writing my blog - although sometimes, it takes a while for me to think of how to word things and manage to hit my word count (I aim for 500 words at least, usually, no matter what I'm blogging about)

Finally, once I've read it through and got someone else to check through it for me, I'm ready to schedule it (and panic in case it's really bad or no one reads it, haha) and voila! My (current) blogging routine!

Do any of you have any similar routines/rituals when it comes to doing things like blogging, or am I the only one? I'd love to see if I was the only one who sits around panicking, or dancing along to game soundtracks!

The Reading Challenge!

Hey guys!
I have always been an avid reader - even from a young age, I would more often than not have my head buried in a book, and would rather be curled up in a comfy chair reading a book than playing games or whatever else.

However, as I've got older, and especially over the past year or so, I've noticed that I've started reading less and less - for example, I asked for the Mortal Instruments books for Christmas 2013, and I still haven't even started reading them yet. It also took me longer than I'd have liked to finish reading The Hunger Games trilogy, which I received at the same time. I used to be able to read a book in about an hour or two - it is both a blessing and a curse being a speed reader, haha - but now, I seem to get easily distracted by other things, like playing my 3DS (Animal Crossing takes up a lot of my time) or just general life gets in the way and I'll have to do something like cook some dinner, or go food shopping.

So, this year, I've decided to put down the electricals, and start reading more again. I have mountains of books in my room (no joke, my room literally has bags and small piles of books EVERYWHERE) and a lot of them are unread. I've set myself a challenge this year, to read at least one book a week, and that means I can declutter my room slowly too, whether I pass the books on to someone else if I like them enough, or donate them to charity if I don't.

I've made a good start to this challenge already - last night, I read Bridesmaids by Jane Costello, which was a cute and lighthearted read to kick things off with, and is good if you like stories about falling in love, funny wedding disasters and more. I also reread Pretty Things by Sarra Manning, recently, and I still love it as much as I ever did!

As well as reading books I already own, I also have a long list of books I want to read jotted down in my diary, and hopefully I'll be able to cross a few of those off my list before the year is out, as well as getting through some of the mountains of books I already own.

I'll probably be writing about some of the books I read on this blog, so if that's the kind of thing that interests you, stay tuned! Also, if I succeed at this challenge, at the end of the year I will be posting a list of the books I read, so if you're at all interested you can see what I read and recommend!

If you think you'd like to do something similar too, let me know! I'm also open to book recommendations, so if you have read any good books lately, leave the title and author in a comment and I'll check it out!

Letter To Myself // Future

Hey guys! 

Yesterday was the letter to my past self - now here's one to my future self! If you enjoy these posts, I tag you to do them, too - it's actually pretty fun!

So, hey there future Amy!

I don’t know when I’m planning on re-reading this – right now I’m thinking when I’m thirty, maybe? – but hopefully, by now, you’ll have finally settled on some kind of career path or have found a job somewhere, doing something you love, or at least like! At the moment, you kind of want to do something creative, maybe music or writing based, but you don’t have a proper plan yet, so I’m hoping that by now (whenever you’re reading this) you’ll at least have a proper plan, if not a decent career!

I also hope that, if you’ve settled down with someone, they’re someone who’s worth it. Relationships can be stressful – as you full well know from your ex, Jesus Christ was that a mess – but if they’re the right person, it’s worth every argument, every bad patch, everything that annoys you about them – if they’re worth it, hang on to them! Fingers crossed it’ll be who you like now – but no biggie if not, I have faith that you’ll have found someone amazing if you’re with someone. If not, don’t worry – you’re just as amazing and wonderful when you’re single, too, and you don’t need someone else to complete your happiness and to complete your world!

Do you still enjoy having weird and wonderful hair colours? Right now, as I’m typing this letter to you, my hair is pale-ish pink – not my favourite, but it’s pretty nice at the same time! I know you used to have a soft spot for black hair, but just remember that it also drains you! Do you still have a nose piercing, too? Remember getting it done for the second time because you had to take it out the first time for various reasons, and how excited you were? Hopefully your tattoos still mean something to you, too – and if you have any more (which hopefully you will – I mean, I have enough planned that hopefully future me will have at least one more) I hope they’re nice, well done and have some kind of meaning like the others do. Also, don’t get the swallow coloured, ever!

I hope you’re living somewhere nice, too – did we ever live in Paris, like I’ve always wanted to, or visit America? Small things like that, which you spent hours endlessly planning in your room, mapping out imaginary road trips and furnishing your dream apartment in Paris…those were the days! I hope you have a fabulous room mate, as well, and that you’re still friends with some people you know now – some are worth everything.

So, future Amy – I hope you’re making yourself proud. That’s all that matters.

Love, present day Amy.

Letter To Myself // 16

Hey guys!

Do you ever wish you could go back in time and give advice to your past self? Well, I do, so I decided that the next best thing would be to write my past self a letter, so I did!

Dear 16 year old Amy, 

So, hey! You managed to survive the tough times – the mornings of having panic attacks before you had to go to school, going out at weekends to see the few people who stuck by you and enjoyed your company, all the health problems and everything! I’m proud of you. 

I remember I found an old diary, a while back – I think I’ve thrown it away again now though – and it made me sad to see how upsetting and stressful everything seemed back then. You wrote endless entries about things that were upsetting you – from school to bullies to exams to hospital appointments – and, although there were a lot of happy things in them too – things like going to gigs to see your favourite band, and going to Camden with your best friends, and even small things like parties at J’s – it was overwhelmingly filled with sadness rather than happiness. I remember that part of my life so vividly, and it makes me upset to look back on it and remember feeling like that – worthless. 

I just wish I could have let you know that things do and will get better, younger Amy – you’ll go to college and make some amazing friends and memories, you’ll make the best friend you’ve always wanted, you’ll do things like dye your hair bright pink and get tattoos – you’ll get more piercings than just your lip, but then take them all out again. You’ll go on holiday again. You’ll be nerdy and sit at home playing games without feeling like people are judging you. You’ll eventually learn that sometimes, it’s better to be single than be wanting a boyfriend constantly, and you’ll also learn that sometimes, relationships look a lot better when other people are in them, and you’re just someone looking in from the outside. You’ll experience a lot of love, and hate. You’ll obviously still experience a lot of sadness – some so bad that your heart will ache and you’ll cry until you have no tears left and yet you’ll still continue – but you’ll also have moments of overwhelming happiness, coming along randomly and enveloping you in a cloud of the warm happy feelings. 

You’ll also remain the same in a lot of ways, over the years – I think no matter how old we get, we’re always going to be experimenting with our hair, getting crushes on guys we know we can’t have, spending too much time listening to music and procrastinating (kind of like when we used to sneak our iPod into school and listen to it during lessons when we had long hair, oops) and generally, you will always live on inside me with the cheekiness and innocence of being a teenager, and being curious about the world. 

Thank you, 16 year old Amy. I think we did good. 

From, present Amy.

Small Update!

Hey guys!

So, this is my first post of this year - HAPPY NEW YEAR! I hope you all had an amazing New Year and Christmas, I know I did - it was lovely to get away for a few days and spend some time with family, slobbing around and watching films, playing games and eating far too much amazing food!
I'm kind of sad to go back to routine and stress again now, aha, and it doesn't help that I somehow managed to pick up a cold from somewhere, but that's life!

Last year, I managed to get myself so disorganised with blogging - obviously, at the moment, I'm blogging once a week at birdsontheblog as well as blogging occasionally on here, but I feel like I was neglecting this blog more and more as the year went on, and I don't want that to continue this year - I feel like I should be posting on here at least once a week as well, even if it's just to do an awesome tag I've found, a review of a product I have, or just spilling my mind out like I used to. Writing, for me, is a good way to clear my head, and I miss it when I don't do it very much. So, this year, I'd love to try and post once a week at least on here, as well as carrying on with my Friday slot on birdsontheblog for as long as they still want me.

I'm not saying I won't get writer's block - cause knowing me, I still will - but as long as I try and stay on track and plan out my schedule, I think it'll be fine (she says as she internally panics, aha) 
So, to make sure I don't start slacking already and break my resolution to blog more, I have two new posts going up over the weekend :D

But yeah, this was just a quick post to let you know my plans and what I've been up to, pretty much :) I hope you enjoy the posts at the weekend, and please feel free to comment and let me know what kind of posts you'd like to see me do in the near future :D